Wee 4: Evaluating Yourself

For this week’s assignment I had my parents and then my boyfriend Andy evaluate me. My parents live in Iowa and we communicate over the phone and in email. My boyfriend lives with me and comes to my work often so he sees how I communicate at home verses how I communicate at work.

To my surprise my parents gave me almost the same scores as I gave myself. This was interesting to me because they do not see me communicate in person. However after thinking about it, they probably perceive my communication skills as I do because I tell them about work, about presentations, etc. They hear my side of the story but do not really see me communicate with anyone other than when I am talking to them and I have that comfort level with them because they are my parents.

Another surprise was how my boyfriend Andy scored me on the anxiety test. I thought that I was great at public speaking and sometimes I feel a little nervous but I did not think it showed. Well he informed me that I get red blotches on my neck/chest when I give presentations/ hold meetings but then as I continue they go away. I learned something new about myself. I think I tell myself that I can do it and I’m not scared but a part of me will always have a little stage fright.

Week 3:Communicating with different groups

I decided to look at my workplace. I do think that I communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures. I work with the military at a youth program, so my children’s parents are military members and the military culture can be very different from working at any other youth program. I find myself watching what I say and being very respectful when a chief or higher comes to pick up their children, I do not want to deliver bad news to them, even if heir child had a difficult day. With their title it atomically gains them respect. Now for enlisted military members I am more easy going and have an easier time working with them and being honest about how their children’s days were. Status is very big in the military. 

Three strategies I could use are:

To try and look beyond their status.

To see every parent as a just a parent.

To know that everyone cares about their child and wants to know what is going on with them, I will just need to choose my words wisely but overall its better for the child if I am honest with their parents.

Week 2: Assumptions

I watched the pilot episode of The Exes. 

Watching the show with no volume: 

Characters relationships: It appears to be three men and one women. One of the men  was against going into the other mens apartment but the female talked him into it. It seems like all the men listen to the female but they all appear to be just friends, probably all exes based on the title of the show. All three men moved in with each other. They all have their own roles. One is a cook. One is a bit lazy and always on the computer. And the other one is a ladies man, he had a female spending the night. The female also has another female friend, they seem to be best friends. 

The feelings that are expressed are: The female seems to have to talk the men into doing things. She seems to be the voice of reason and they all listen to her. By looking at facial expressions I can tell that the men pick on each other, do things to annoy each other. They get upset but then work it out. 

Watching the show with the volume on:

Assumptions: I really thought I knew what was going on in the show. I could not hear it but I saw just how much facial and hand gestures helped to see what was going on. I guessed that the ladies man set up the new guy on a blind date and when I turned on the volume I was right. However, I did not know that the ladies man was going to kick the other man out of the house prior to getting him to go on a double date with him. Also I thought the female was the voice of reason and one of their friends however she is all of their divorce attorney.  

If this was a show that I always watched I would know the story line and the characters and would better be able to guess what was going on. 

Competent Communication

The person I have decided to write about it my boss. I believe she exhibits many important qualities which make her a competent communicator. 
Some of her behaviors which make her a competent communicator are:
She is able to make people feel comfortable to communicate with her.
She listens.
She is able to hold meets and have everyones attention.
She uses real examples when talking.
She is personable.
She is comforting.
She is very good at customer relations.
When she disagrees with people, she gives examples of why.
She is easy to talk to.
I would want to model my own behaviors after her. I respect her a lot and have learned a lot from her about communicating with others. She has really helped me learn to communicate with upset parents and that was an area I used to struggle with but she taught me not to get defensive but to really listen to them and try to find a solution. I look up to her and her communication skills.